Thoughts running wild Purposely

The other day I was just sitting lost in my thoughts, that happens often, I just drift away into some other world sometimes; most of these thoughts go away even before they come. But this particular one has been lingering since then.

I was thinking about life about mine particularly, what have I done, until now? Honestly nothing significant. If I haven’t am I trying to? Answer to this too is a big No. What is my purpose in life? I had no clue about my purpose until this thing crept into my silly little brain. Maybe even now I am not very clear about. It all seems very hazy.

I cannot answer what is my purpose? It is easier to answer what isn’t. It isn’t to be selfish; I have probably been a lot of times.  James Allen quoted “Selfishness must be discovered and understood before it can be removed. It is powerless to remove itself, neither will it pass away of itself. Darkness cease only when light is introduced; so ignorance can only be dispersed by knowledge and selfishness by love” So this clears a little haziness, my purpose should be to love, love the people around me, respect them . 

Is it just the people around me? Now another questions pops up. Am I doing anything to make the world a better place? Am I playing my part in doing so? Perhaps not. But what can I, an eighteen year old dreamer, an engineer- to- be do? This time not so difficult to answer, we need a little introspection to answer this. I do not see myself working in some software company , I do not want to, there are better things I can do with life .Further introspection leads me to conclusion that I can infact do a lot. Have we ever thought about the people in Japan, or the Egyptians or why go far the kids living in the slum or the orphanage in your city? Even I had not until I attended one of these AIESEC conferences. 

We probably preach this all the time, each and everyone of us has said it at least once in their lifetime . But do we really go out there and do anything about this except sympathizing.  Only a handful do that.Trust me there is nothing more satisfying in the world , than seeing a poor man happy . And when the reason is you , it gives you immense satisfaction . I have felt it just once in my eighteen year long  life. But would want to get  that get feeling again.The thing costed me the only 50 bucks I had but the smile on that poor man's face prompts me to  do it again.

I will now stop , with a promise to myself that whatever it be I will try to live selflessly and have a purpose that makes the lives of people( who really need it ) better.

Musings

I wrote this thing in one of the classes today when I was bored to death. I don't know what really led me to this , it was just random. I never really write poems ,  lyrics or prosesand this is my first shot at a prose. Hope you like it , tell me what you think  , whether I should just trash it or continue .

 

I don’t know quite know what to say, How to say?

Words fail me;

The world seems to be spinning around.

Is it me or the world that seems to have changed?

I am left guessing

Where did the things go wrong?

Is there anybody out there who can answer my questions?

I feel caught up in the absurdities by life.

As I walk alone in the crowd 

Wondering what to do or what to say.

Thank you if you made it to the end.